How Metaphors Can Transform ADHD From The Inside Out

In my coach training, I was told to acknowledge whatever came out of the mouth of the client as that person’s subjective truth. And then work with that.

No matter how strange it sounded.

So when my very first practice client presented me with the metaphor that all her aspirations and interests were like an army with no general and that every one of the soldiers was trying to make her go in their direction, I just went along with the metaphor. As a result of her inner experience described in the metaphor, she didn’t know which direction she wanted to go in and had no idea what to do with her career.

I got curious and asked her about the army and the soldiers and everything, and we spent more than two hours understanding and making the metaphor come alive – and then transforming every element of the army. In the end, her experience was that she was the leader of her army and understood that being a generalist with many interests could be a very powerful thing when directed properly.

It took her only days after that session to embark on an incredibly successful career where she would draw on all the soldiers’ competencies and eventually become a founder in her own business.

By then I was deep in the work with clients with the ADHD diagnosis and working with metaphors all day every day.

The Power of Metaphors

We all communicate in metaphor about what is going on inside of us. When I work with externalization, I take the metaphor seriously and use it to help create transformation from the inside out.

If we look at common metaphors among adults, we can see that we use these in our everyday language:

  • My anger is all bottled up inside.
  • I am in a sea of despair
  • I have a broken heart
  • I am feeling bubbly

If we look at common metaphors among adults with the ADHD diagnosis, we can see that they are rich descriptions of what is going on inside of them:

  • I have ants in my pants
  • My mind wanders.
  • Part of me just wants to go outside and play instead of being in class.
  • It’s like there are 16 TV screens in my mind and I feel that I have to focus on all of them to make sure I don’t miss anything.
  • It was the ADHD Monster that made me do it.

You may recognize these metaphors, either from your own child or from the common literature on ADHD. The great thing is that when we accept the metaphors as the inner experience of the person, magic starts to happen.

Metaphors are the programming elements of the mind. The brain may use neurons and firing of electric pulses, but the mind uses metaphors to explain what is going on in there, – and the mind uses metaphors to change the programming of the mind.

This means that when we change the metaphor, we change the inner experience. And the inner experience is driving the behavior. So when we change the metaphor, we change the behavior.

Change the metaphor => change the inner experience => change the behavior.

Transforming the Metaphor

This is where it gets really interesting because metaphors can be changed in normal conversation. This means that you can have a discussion with your partner or friend, – and if your understanding of a subject changes, so does your metaphor for how you understand and talk about the subject.

  • You might say something like: “I had him up on a pedestal before, but when I know that about him, I can’t help but look down on him.”
  • You might say: “I couldn’t make sense of the movie, but now the ingenuity plot has fallen into place for me!”

These are both metaphors that describe what is going on inside of you. Neither the pedestals or the piece that fall into place exists in the “real” world. Yet they describe beautifully the transformation that has happened and that it happened fast. It turns out that the mental fabric that metaphors are made of, is more malleable than children’s play-doh. You can transform one thing into another in seconds.

Imagine instead that your child says:

“I don’t need my anger volcano any longer, so I made it into a statue that tells me in a funny voice that I should relax.”

This transformation did actually occur to one of my clients in a one-hour session.

The key to transforming a metaphor (which is equal to the inner experience, remember!) is to enter a What-if scenario, where you explore the possibility that the metaphor can change.

This happens with questions like:

  • What would you transform the (insert inexpedient metaphor here) into, if you could change it into anything you want?
  • If you could choose something else than (insert inexpedient metaphor here) to pop up in those situations, what would you like it to be instead?

For example, if the metaphor is “I have a short fuse!”, then you can first explore the metaphor and ask what is at the end of the fuse and how fuse gets lit in the first place. All the questions are within the metaphor. Once you find out that the fuse is attached to a round bomb, you can ask a transformational question like: “if you could transform that round bomb into something else entirely, what would you transform it into?”

And on the conversation goes.

Metaphors For Anger

It can be surprisingly simple to transform from the inside out. Even for very small children. I have worked successfully with children down to 6 years with this method, and my oldest daughter has done this kind of work since she was 3.

Common metaphors for anger are:

  • I am boiling with anger. (Hot liquid, put a lid on)
  • My anger is smoldering. (Lava?)
  • I am about to erupt! (Volcano)
  • I unleashed my anger. (Captive animal, lion?)
  • I have a short fuse. (Bomb, dynamite)
  • I was struggling with my anger. (I am having an inner mental fight with the part of my personality that represents my anger)
  • It is Mr. Stupid that makes me do it. (Externalized part of personality)
  • I try to fight it, but my rage always wins when she talks to me like that. (Externalized part of personality)
  • Then I just go on a rampage like a 3-year-old. (non-externalized childish part of personality)

It is interesting to see when children and adults alike choose different metaphors.

Most often when people realize that they have the option to transform their anger into something else, one of two things happen. Either they transform the anger into another and more constructive anger, – one that helps them set better boundaries and is aligned with their current age. Or they transform the anger into something entirely different, – like peace, calm, serenity.

What Happens When You Transform The Metaphor

Think of the metaphor as a program that has been created by the subconscious mind years ago. It hasn’t been updated since. It runs on automatic in the sense that certain outside or inside triggers start the program – and releases the inner experience best described by the metaphor. Then you might experience emotional high-jacking where you do the automatic response without being able to do something else.

When you transform a metaphor, you don’t necessarily transform the triggers, but when the program is triggered, – the program is now an updated version of the program. This “program” is the inner experience of the new or tweaked metaphor. So the trigger triggers the new metaphorical inner experience, – and you have a different behavior based on this new inner experience.

This understanding gives us a new understanding of our minds and our children’s minds. When we help them transform something in their minds, they can immediately express a new behavior. And it will even feel natural to them within 24 hours.

Now Start Listening

Whether you have something you want to change, or your child expresses behavior that needs to change, – you can now start listening for the metaphors.

If it’s you, you can write about your problem, and start sentences like: “My anger is like a …” and then just let your subconscious mind fill in the rest of the sentence. Exchange anger with your specific challenge. Fear, Intimidation, Time Management Skille, Tiredness, Etc. Everything goes. Once you have the metaphor, write a little more about it, so that your subconscious pattern becomes conscious. Then re-write it. What would you like this metaphor to transform into? You can start small and tweak the metaphor, changing the colors or sizes of things, – and if you want, you can transform the entire metaphor from unpleasant to pleasant, from ugly to beautiful, from hard to soft, – or whatever you need.

If you are helping your child, then listen to the metaphors and explore the metaphors with the child. Make it a game to catch the metaphors. And then suggest that you help the child change that inner experience, so that the child can express a different behavior. Curious exploration is what it takes. Never force anything, because if you do the child will protect itself by answering “I don’t know!”

If you want to learn more about helping your child transform through the use of metaphors, and about parenting and much, much more, I have a parenting course called Reclaim Hope coming out in early Jan. 2018. Sign up below to get early access when the course is out.

Ask any questions you want in the comments below!

Have a great day,
Anders

Angry looking child with tantrum, ADHD, stop, avoic

ADHD: How to Stop Anger Tantrums In Their Tracks – And Avoid Them Altogether

Anger tantrums are disturbing.

Not only in the situation, but to the health and safety of the entire family and the stuff you own. It makes you as parents avoid specific situations where you know that the child will flare up, and It makes you walk on eggshells to avoid situations that may or may not ignite the fire.

This gives us a variety of problems. Most prominently:

  • The child is not learning to handle his anger, so he continues to express anger/frustration/sadness in an inappropriate way.
  • The child is subconsciously aware that he is “wrong” in expressing anger this way because of the feedback he gets.
  • The child is not appropriately challenged because of the no mans land that surrounds him in certain areas of his life, leading to deficits in his natural development as a child.
  • The siblings take on a number of different roles to either challenge, copy or please the child expressing anger in an inappropriate way.
  • You as parents are constantly in some state of alert or even emergency, leading to stress and subsequently to poor mental and physical health.

What we can do about it

There are a number of ways that we can change this situation. Most of the traditional ways include some kind of motivational strategy like

  • Positive reinforcement – or praise. This works well for most parents that do this consistenly. Especially if they can give praise for the effort to succeed even when the child does not succeed.
  • Positive motivational feedback – includes giving the child stuff like stars, angels, legos, screen time, etc. for behaving well. This is a well established evidence based strategy in ADHD circles and some parents find that it works really well and other find that it has no effect whatsoever. In my opinion it can be difficult to balance acknowledging the child’s efforts when they try but don’t succeed – with not giving a star. Also science shows that in the long run it’s demotivating to expect presents for doing stuff well.
  • Negative motivational feedback – includes taking away from child for continuing his behavior. This can be stars, angels, screen time, etc. There’s no good science to back this strategy and in my opinion is a very dangerous strategy because it is not acknowledging the child’s effort to succeed even when the child does not succeed. I would always go with positive motivation and reinforcement.

The first two are established traditional strategies that have evidence behind them. But that doesn’t mean that they are fast – or that they are the best.

Let me introduce you to two more options that are fast, does not involve a lot of “fighting against your self” and reliably provides parents and children with less tantrums with little effort.

1. Transforming the Anger

This method is described in this article about externalization. In this method you externalize the part of the child that expresses the anger in a way that makes it possible to transform the anger in the child into something else. Sometimes even calm or tranquility.

2. Modeling and Remodeling the Anger

This method is the focus of this article.

Modeling is a process that has a starting point in a very obvious understanding of our behavior:

Behind all behavior is a series of thoughts and emotions

The basic idea here is that what we see as behavior is really only the result. It’s makes it obvious that the important stuff is what is happening inside the child – that creates or motivates the result/behavior.

When we focus on the thoughts and emotions, we have a real chance at creating lasting change very effectively.

Modeling means understanding in detail the inner and outer  processes that lead to a certain behavior. You can think of modeling as the recipe for behavior. When we understand the recipe for a certain negative behavior, we know all the ingrediences and the order in which they have to come.

And as with any good recipe, – if we change the ingrediences or even the order in which they are added, the final result is very different from any previous results.

In the case of anger, imagine the recipe where we suddenly add honey instead of chili. The result is much sweeter and a lot smoother. That’s the idea of remodeling.

How To Model Your Child’s Tantrums

The most basic rule for modeling is to do it while both you and your child are in the “green zone”. That means that both your child AND you have let go of the emotional state that followed the outbursts. Then you can work.

The easiest way to model behavior with a child is to talk to the child about these things in a quiet setting. If your child is sorry about the outbursts, that’s typically a good way into talking about it.

I’ve had parents successfully starting the conversation with: “You know how you get really sad after you cool down from one of your tantrums? I have learned a new trick that can help you control it better. Would you like to see it?”

Then make a drawing like the one below.

Graph showing the development of a tantrum

The drawing shows how a tantrum/fit/outburst develops.

To the left the child is OK, then something happens and the child is maybe irritated. He relaxes a bit and the graph comes a bit back down.

Then something else happens and the child gets frustrated, followed maybe by feeling hurt. Then something happens that makes the child angry and he can no longer contain his emotions.

At some point around here, he reaches his “point of no return”, where he basically just has to let it rip.

After he has reached his peak anger, he quickly (or slowly) relaxes out of it again and calms down.

How You Use The Model

This is a simplified model that shows you what I draw to help my clients understand their own anger outbursts. With clients I’ll always draw the first graph to explain what is on the graph and let my clients understand what is going on.

I’ll move along the graph and explain what might be happening that creates mood swings up and down. And when we reach the left side of the “explosion” part of the graph, I’ll say something like: “And at some point it becomes too much, and this is where the actual anger outburst comes.” I might even mention the point of no return, so we can talk about that later.

Then we get to the outburst and the time it takes to cool back down.

Now in principle you don’t know what is going on inside your child. You do however most likely know what it looks like when your child goes through the different phases. Some parents will say stuff like: “Then you can just see it on his face and count 3-2-1-Booooom!”

What you have here is then the child’s recipe for anger outbursts. Most of these steps along the way are needed for the child to create a tantrum. And with the modeling effort above, you and your child can have a talk about what you have to look for when the child goes through the different phases leading up to the outburst. Because if you know what they look like, you know what to look for.

And then you can help the child break free of the standard recipe and create a new one. Or maybe you can just start interrupting the standard recipe with pattern interrupts. We’ll explore those a bit below.

Co-creating a new model

If you and your child are reflecting together over this model, you can just start asking open questions about what he would like there to be different about the model. And talk openly about how to make that happen. Start talking about how you can try out different strategies to make that work so you can progress together towards less or no tantrums.

Disrupting the model

If your child is not reflecting with you on this, you can start planning when and how you want to break the child free of the current model. What can you do when you can spot that the child is frustrated to bring the child out of frustration and into laughter for example? Instead of leading him on into anger.

Again plan different strategies so you can try different things. You can talk to him about it to let him know, of you can do it on your own. He’ll notice when you suddenly does something different than you normally do.

What to do if…

This way of talking to your child can seem different and/or difficult for some parents. I wouldn’t sweat it. Maybe have the conversation with your partner first, so you have a model of your own outburst (if those ever happen? ;)) and of your partners to (those do happen! :)) That way you’ll be more comfortable. Otherwise just try it out. Tell your child that you read this article. If he’s a teen, let him read along (Hi!) and you can develop this stuff together. Learning to do this through his own reflection will become an incredibly powerful tool throughout his entire life.

For smaller children that maybe doesn’t even realize that their tantrums are a problem to others and themselves, you’ll want to just start calibrating the different phases of his emotional states that lead up to the outburst. And then start your attempts on disrupting the state.

If your child draws with you that’s awesome. He might draw it differently and then you go with his drawing. He knows what his phases are. Or he might not be able to draw it at all, depending on his age. If he doesn’t draw it, you may. Then correct the drawing based on input from him. If your child doesn’t get the drawing just leave it and find your own words to explain. Or not. 🙂

Some children doesn’t realize that there is something happening inside of them right before. “I just explode!” That’s fine too. Rest assured that there’s something and see if you can work your way towards that understanding. You can do role plays to bring out the emotions from some recent outburst. That does it in most cases.

Action Steps

Have pen and paper ready, and start drawing when you have your child’s attention.

Then work through the diffent phases of his model to map what makes his internal states overflow into outbursts. Or in his words: Do a piece of detective work to figure out what is going on inside of him that makes him explode.

And be flexible. If you just explain that this is what’s going on inside of him, you probably be told to buzz of. If you take on the explorer hat and bring him on as an expert, you have a great chance of learning something new about your child.

And he gets to be the one that knows stuff that you don’t.

This is a great place to be if you want to help him change and transform things.

Let me know your questions and comments – and how the process inspires you – in the comments section below!

Have an inspired day,

Anders.

 

 

Man with spinning thoughts - adhd

ADHD: A Simple Trick to Stop Your Thoughts From Spinning around and around

Do you know that feeling when the thoughts are just spinning – around and around, and it feels like there’s nothing you can do about it?

Perhaps you also know the feeling of not control over your thoughts, but that thoughts are really controlling you.

Or maybe you heard your child or your partner talk about it?

In this article I’ll walk you through a mental training exercise that makes it possible for you to control your thoughts. And hopefully that’ll help you realize that there’s an enormous potential for transformation in your mind and in your child’s mind.

After the exercise, I explain a bit about how and why this works like it does, and I explain how you can use it with your child.

Are you ready?

For optimal results make sure that there is peace and quiet around you for at least the next five minutes, so you have time to both read from the screen and do the exercise. When you’ve done that, return to the text and do the exercise again.

Spinning Thoughts

This exercise if for you if you have spinning thoughts. You’ll know that you have spinning thoughts because you sometimes use that phrase or at the very least kind of recognize the saying. If you never use the phrase spinning thoughts, this exercise might not have an effect on you. Feel free to do it anyway if you are curious.

  • Concentrate now on the thoughts spinning around. If you do not have them right now, think back to a situation where the mind really had a good spinner. Put yourself mentally in that situation again and re-live it as if you were there.
  • Allow the thoughts spin right now. Usually you tend to fight against them. Don’t do that. Let them spin freely instead.
  • While letting the thoughts spin around, notice which way they spin. Make the same movement with your hand as if you are showing me which direction the thoughts are spinning around. Maybe you already know this movement with your hand, because you use it when the thoughts are spinning to illustrate the spinning? Is it clockwise or counterclockwise? Forwards or backwards?
  • Imagine that you can get them to spin even faster now. Around and around. Speed up your hand to show the speed increase.
  • Can you make them to spin even faster?
  • Now slow them right back down to their “normal” speed.
  • And now imagine that the thoughts are spinning the other way around. The same speed and in the opposite direction.
  • Reverse the movement of your spinning hand, and let the hands show how the thoughts spin when they spin the other way round.
  • If it feels right – imagine the thoughts running faster and faster the other way around.
  • Now slow them down again.
  • Continue slowing them down. Slower and slower.
  • Until they calm down completely.
  • Notice how your hand is not moving either.

Allow yourself to enjoy this moment …. 😉

Debriefing

Now it may be that you’re thinking: “That was strange!”

Maybe the thoughts really are still. Maybe not. Maybe it was difficult for you to do the exercise, or maybe you think it’s too weird to talk about your thoughts in this way. It is perfectly fine – there will be other exercises for you later!

It does feel kind of strange to talk about thoughts in this way. The interesting thing is, that we do actually talk about our thoughts like this all the time, – just not consciously. We use metaphors to describe what is going on inside of us. We just don’t realize it, so we don’t take it serious.

When we talk about our thoughts using metaphors, the thoughts are often described as active and in motion or as if they have their own will.

  • “My thoughts are spinning around,”
  • “Every time I try to concentrate, my thoughts get in the way,”
  • “My thoughts will not leave me alone,”
  • “My thoughts are driving me around,” and so on.

This exercise exploits the fact that if we transform the metaphor, we transform the inner experience. And when we do that, our behavior changes too.

If you imagine doing this exercise twice today and twice a day over the next week, how good do you think that you’ll be at controlling those thoughts in a weeks time?

Doing The Exercise With Your Child

Girl with spinning finger at temple - adhd spinning thoughts

If you want to do this exercise with your child, you can just guide him/her through it with a slow voice. Give him time to do what you ask him to do in his mind. Look for cues that he is doing it. Look at the hand, etc.

At the end, ask him if there’s anything else he needs to do to the thoughts to help them stay calm. Whatever he answered, you just answer: “Okay, just imagine that you do that now!” with a smile. He may or may not be able to do it, but you have both given it a great first go at transforming spinning thoughts from the inside out.

This is the kind of transformation that you learn in the Transformational Parenting course that I am working on. And it’s the kind of transformations that your child will be able to do alone in the ADHD Power Mind series.

Now Over To You

How did the exercise go for you?

What happened at the end?

Write in the comments below if you had success with the exercise. How was it for you right after the exercise?

Write also if it did not work. What was it that did not work, and what will it take to make the exercise work for you?

If you are interested in more exercises like this make sure to sign up for the newsletter. This is where I’ll let you know when the Transformational Parenting and the ADHD Power Mind program opens.

Have a great day,

Anders

PS: If you enjoyed the article, feel free to share it on social media to help other people find it as well.

Wolf pack walking in the woods a cold winter day. Snow on the ground and on the trees.

ADHD: How To Reach The Part Of Your Child That Wants To Behave Well

Behave! Not so easy…

Humans are incredibly complex emotional and cognitive beings.

  • We can have an urge to do something and then not do it.
  • We can want to focus on something and then move that focus onto something else.
  • We can know what is good for us to eat and want to buy it, and still buy something that’s bad for us and eat that instead.

Often when we talk about things like this – the inner struggle – we use terms like:

  • “I really wanted to do it, but part of me was afraid to do it!”
  • “I sat down to focus, but my mind just kept wandering!”
  • “I went to the store to pick up greens for the smoothie, and there was something in me that just made me buy chocolate as well.”

You may recognize this from yourself – or at least from someone you know. 🙂

We all have this inherent duality about pretty much everything in our lives. I work with Neuro Linguistic Programming methods, and in NLP we take everything literal as an expression of what is going on inside a persons mind.

That means that when a person is talking about a part of him that wants to do something and another part of him that is afraid to do it, I accept that as what is actually going on inside of him. Like I did in the case study of the boy with ants in his pants.

When we accept what is going on inside another person, we can have vastly different conversations than we used to have.

The Two Wolves

You may already know the old story of the two wolves.

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.

“It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.” He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

In NLP we have an entire field of insights and methods called Parts of the Personality, dedicated to understanding and transforming parts of our personalities that are “bad” or in other ways disruptive to leading a great life.

One of the experiences that have come out of this field is that in most cases there are two opposing parts, – just like the bad and the good wolf above. And just like in the examples I gave at the very top of the article.

Common internal power struggle in people with the ADHD diagnosis is:

  • The Motivator vs. The Slacker
  • The Focuser vs. The Curiosity
  • The Common Sense vs. The Impulsive

Your Child Has Inner Struggles

Often times when we experience conflict with our children, we only see the part of the child that acts as the “bad wolf”. We hear that they don’t want to do something. They won’t stop doing something. They are afraid of something. Or they lie to get out of a poor situation, etc. You know it.

In those situations, we don’t hear the other part. And if we do, we often ignore them.

Imagine this conversation.

Parent: “I heard from you teacher that you hit Emma today! You can’t hit other people like that. We talked about this already!”

Child: “I tried not to hit her, but she said nasty things to me!”

Parent: “You have to stop it.”

And so on.

Now did you notice the “good wolf” in the child’s sentence?

“I tried not to hit her” is the good wolf in your child. And at this point in your child’s life, the power struggle in this type of situations are won by the bad wolf. It has been fed for too long and is stronger than the good wolf.

I say “at this point”, because we can change that.

First of all, we have to realize that it’s there. I’ll give you a couple of real life examples and then talk more about how you can do it too.

To Lie Or Speak The Truth

When my oldest daughter was 4 she learned that she could get out of bad situations if she lied about them. “I didn’t do it, she did!”, – blaming her 2 year younger sister who couldn’t defend herself.

From the theory of the parts of the personality, we know that there’s a part of her that wants to lie because she gets an immediate benefit from doing it. We could call this part of her the Liar. There’s also a part of her that wants to tell the truth – The Truthteller, and apparently it’s not as powerful as the Liar. YET!

So how do we make it stronger? How do we feed it?

What I did when I realized that she was lying one day, was that I got down on my knees so that I could look her in the eye, and I said, sincerely and with power: “I Looove it when you speak the truth! The truth is so important!”

And nothing else. I got up and walked away, as if I was praising her for being honest.

10 seconds later, she came back to me and told me that she had lied. And I praised her again for having told me the truth. I looked her in the eyes and repeated that the truth was important and I loved it when she told me the truth.

From that day on, she told much fewer lies, and when she did, I would just repeat the process of praising her for being honest.

Very importantly I also made a point of praising her for being honest when she was being honest!

And I still do.

Especially when she comes to me to tell me about something she did that she isn’t so proud of…

The idea behind my behavior was and is simply to make sure that she knows – in a positive way – what our family values regarding the truth are, and to feed the “good wolf” as much as possible.

Go To School Or Stay Home

I have been working with a family where the boy didn’t go to school for 9 months, and they wanted to get help getting him back to school.

He is now attending a new school and slowly getting more and more days per week in school. But frustration has been high in the parents when the boy didn’t want to go and couldn’t explain why. The morning struggles where often experienced as a win or loose battleground.

I suggested that they start acknowledging the part of their son that really wanted to go to school, but that had lost the inner battle to the part of him that did not want to go – today. I suggested that they honor the part of him that tried to get out the door, that wanted to go, that is longing to be in school to learn, that really wants to hang out with the new friends.

And it made a difference. For the parents because it moves focus away from what is not working so well. And for the child who gets a very different kind of acknowledgement for who he is and what he is trying to accomplish.

And it seems to have made a difference in the number of days per week in school too.

What You Can Do

As a parent you can look at some of the difficult situations, where you have conflicts or where the child often does the opposite of what you want of expect of him.

Then imagine that he has an inner struggle going, where you can only hear one part of that conflict coming out through his mouth. Then imagine what the opposite part must be. Maybe as you think about it and imagine the parts, you’ll realize that your child has been communicating about it, but you haven’t noticed it before. Maybe not.

If your child is reflective about what is going on, you can relay what you have learned in this article and see if he knows himself who the parts of his inner conflict are. If he’s not old or mature enough you can just assume it’s there, and speak to it and about it. He’ll correct you, if you’re wrong – and you learn from that.

I would love to hear what shift you got from this article in the comments below, and I would be happy if you come back and let me know what is changing in your relationship with your child, when you see all of him and not just the bad wolf.

To Your Success,

Anders.

PS: Grab the Free Transformational Toolbox to get even more insights and tools to help your child.

Books about ADHD open on table

Why a movement to Transform ADHD?

Thank you for visiting Transforming ADHD!

I am looking forward to serving you and your family with inspiration, insights and loads of tools and methods.

Parents to differently wired children have a hard time. Not only can the family situation be difficult, but often the system around us is not geared to meet us or our children.

This has to change.

It won’t change over night, so we need to change it from the bottom up. We need a movement, a revolution, to deliver evidence that our children are not broken. They certainly are different, and they have loads of problems fitting into the norm. But maybe that’s more a problem with the norm than with your child.

Your child is fantastic. He (or she) has great talents and gifts that are not coming out into their fullest potential because they are frowned upon and because your child is held back by society and conformity. Your child has the potential to make a real difference, because:

Being different is an opportunity to make a difference.

Transforming ADHD is about your child, – and it is about every child that does not conform to normalcy. We want to set your child free.

Transforming ADHD is about you as a parent. We want to set you free from the pressure to conform and create a “normal” child. Your child is not normal, he’s different. You are allowed to start thinking in different ways to help bring out the child that is currently hiding inside your child. We want to give you all the tools you need to do that.

And Transforming ADHD is about every child and parent out there. That’s why we have to start a movement. We want everyone to look at children as perfect and on their way to creating their own unique impression on the world.

Join us to start with yourself and your child. Stay with us to Transform ADHD and the world as we know it.

You are awesome.

Best,

Anders.